3 Month Retightening

So I had my 3month retightening last weekend and it went very well. It took about 3 1/2 hrs to complete. My consultant said it would have been less but it had been about 8 weeks since the front had been tightened. Everything is moving right along and my hair is doing great. I had one lock in the front that completely unraveled and some in the back with alot of slippage but everywhere else was perfect. I haven't noticed any earth shattering differences in my hair. The ones in the back are starting to open and expand a little but that's about it. I did speak with my consultant about combining the ones on the sides in the front because they are too small for my taste. She wants to wait to see how they do but I don't want to, I know that they are too small for me. So I'm going to talk to her before my next retightening and see how much it would cost to take them down and do them bigger.

When I discussed possibly combining some with my consultant she told me that the two would be combined at the based and then the weaker one cut eventually. I've thought about it and don't really want to do it that way. I figure if it's done that way then most of the lock will still be really small right? Only the base of the lock will be bigger if I'm thinking correctly. I'd prefer the entire lock be larger in size. I'm thinking if we do it now it will be alot easier since they are no where close to being mature. I realize that all of my babies will expand and will be larger than what they are now but those particular ones are not going to expand as much as I'd like. So why not just take care of it now.

I was talking to one of my coworkers about my hair and she was telling me that she thinks I'm being too picky. I've put the deposit down for the consultant's training class that's coming to Boston in August. (Yay me!!) She said that according to the laws of the universe that I'll get clients alot worse than myself. I didn't realize I was a difficult client. I thought that the relationship between the consultant and client is suppose to be an open one. In my opinion, any client should be able to share questions and concerns with their consultant. When I become a consultant I'd like my clients to feel that they can come to me with all questions and concerns. I don't feel that myself or any other client should just sit back with no say whatsoever in this process, but that's me. So I pose the question to those of you who keep up with my blog, do you think I'm being too picky?

Perfection...

Tuesday night I was at work and decided to browse the internet in search of pictures of sisterlocks. During my search I came across the website Cammalocks. This consultant has the ability to part the most perfect grids that I have seen on any locked head so far. When I viewed the images of the locks I got a serious case of loc envy. So much so that I've been thinking about and comparing my locs to the ones on that site for two days. I've even read something somewhere discussing differences between loc envy and loc admiration. There was no question in my mind that I had loc envy because I just kept going over in my mind how I wanted my grid to be that perfect. This is actually what I thought I was getting when I got sisterlocks but alas my beautiful babies didn't turn out this way. I like to think that God hides a lesson in every situation. Over the past couple of days I've tried to find the lesson in this particular one. So I ask that you bear with me as I explain how and why I came to the conclusion that I did.

My analysis took me back to childhood and some insecurities that I've carried since then. When I was growing up my family was the poor family living in the broken down house with a bunch of unruly children. I'm an only child but I grew up with six of my cousins in the house with me. Our house was roach and rat infested with no sink or running water in the kitchen. I was teased in grade school about my clothing and because I'd had a couple of embarassing incidents that proved just how poor we really were. Even from a young age I was determined to never live this way again. My solution was to strive for perfection, perfect student, perfect daughter, perfect friend, perfect girlfriend, etc... I figured if I were perfect there was no room for failure.

I knew that most of my circumstances at that time were out of my control. What I felt I could control was myself and how I was perceived. I felt that if I carried myself a certain way that people wouldn't be able to see all the things that were "wrong" with me. I became very opionated about everything and everyone, going as far as to pass judgement and give everyone my thoughts on any matter. I didn't care that what I said and how I said it hurt peoples feelings because I was just telling it like it was, you know, "keeping it real". All the while I secretly envied many of the people that I criticized. I was a horrible friend to some people that I truly loved and lost some because I was constantly judging and looking down on them. I would pick people apart that I felt had more or better than me, i.e. money, stable homelife, beautiful clothes, perfect hair. I had to find something wrong with them to make me feel better about myself. Because no matter how hard I tried or how much I'd accomplished I still felt like that same scared, poor, little imperfect girl. I also felt that having "things" would make me feel more worthy. I found that no matter how many material things I attained or how good I looked on the outside I still never felt I'd reached my goal of perfection. Whether it were the latest hairdo or fashion trends I always ended up with something less than perfect. I was utterly and completely miserable. I'd always hear the mantra about loving yourself and had convinced myself that I did. But how can you love yourself when you can't accept you for who you are?

It has taken years, some soul searching, and God to realize that I am perfect. I am the most perfect Sereni-T that I can be. There is no one else like me. I am unique and special in my very own way. I don't have to be perfect or anything other than Sereni-T to love me or to be loved by others. I feel the same way about my hair. While I didn't get the perfectly parted grid that I desired, my new babies will produce a beautiful head of sisterlocks. They are unique and special in they're very own way. There will be no other head of sisterlocks that look like mine. In my eyes they are and will forever be perfect.

ETA: I just wanted to clarify that my parts and grid are not bad. My consultant did a wonderful job on my hair. There are a few things here and there but nothing intolerable . They're just not as perfect as I had envisioned.

Patience.......WOOOOOSSAHHHHHHHH!!!

Ok, so am I the only one having trouble imagining that these little scraggly things will turn into beautiful sisterlocks. I know I know, you all are going to say be patient. I know that!!! :o) But I'm impatient daggomit. That's why I'm pretending to be Martin's character in Bad Boys II...WWWOOOOOSSSAAAHHHHHHH!!!! I've been a member of nappturality for years and loc'ers always say that if this journey doesn't teach you anything it will teach you patience. Well easier read than done...lol.

Ok on to more serious matters ;o). My hair is moving along quite nicely if I do say so myself. I've noticed a couple in the back starting to bud which makes me very excited. I've passed the two month mark and will be getting a retightening on my three month anniversary on the 21st of this month. Which incidentally is my birthday weekend...woop woop. I'm getting old ya'll, I'll be the ripe ole age of, drumroll please..........................34. Ok so I know that's not old but I just had to be a little dramatic, dag lighten up guys :oD. So the plan is to get my hair did and hit the streets doing something besides going to someone's club. Is that the only thing people know how to do nowdays?

Back to my hair, my routine is uber simple. I cover with my LockSock before bed, wake up shake and finger comb, and wash once a week. My bad case of itchies has subsided but I still am having issues with flakes. I'm definitely looking forward to the six month mark when I can start to put something on my scalp. I've promised myself that I would start with my wheatgrass smoothies, hair skin and nails supplement, and multivitamin again. I already drink plenty of water so I'm good on that front. As far as exercise, I'm slowly working my way into it. I took a class called 'Head to Toe' at my gym last week and wooohooo that joint had me massaging the outermost point of my butt cheek...lol. I definitely felt the burn all over my body so this class is a definite 'must do' on my road to health. My plan is to start doing Bikram Yoga this week, it's suppose to be very good for your health overall. For those that don't know Bikram Yoga is a style of yoga done in a room heated to 105 with 26 postures that are repeated twice over the course of an hour and a half. Sounds intense right? I tried it a couple of years ago and let me tell you I don't know if intense is a good enough word for it. Essentially my goal is an overall healthy lifestyle. So that's about it guys, I will keep you posted on all the haps in my world. Until the next time.....